Crazy Short Funny Jokes That’ll Surely Get You a Laugh

As long as there are people, there will be humor and laughter. Short jokes are widely enjoyed by many because of their hidden wit and self-explanatory nature. The simplicity and straightforwardness they offer are super easy to absorb by audiences of all ages, making funny one liners a true favorite among everybody. Just ask anyone you know and they’ll tell you they prefer a one-liner over long funny jokes that turn out not to be so funny as they go on and on, nearly losing their point at the end. Snoozeville!

It’s not that often that we have the opportunity to get a truly honest laugh during the day and think to ourselves, “Wow, this is probably the most hilarious joke I’ve heard in a while!” People like it when you can make their day with a silly little thing, be it a joke or an act of surprise. Yes, it doesn’t take too much to make someone happy. So if you were really aspiring towards becoming the star of your next party, here are a bunch of our funniest jokes, funny texts and funny pick up lines that will surely get you inspired and make you and your guests crack a laugh!


Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship’s kitchen.


When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body… men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.


I’ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now, I think I’ll start calling them traditions.


I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.


If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.


What’s the biggest difference between men and women?
The phrase “I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film.” usually has a completely different meaning.


Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?


The difference between “Girlfriend” and “Girl Friend” is that little space in between we call the “Friend Zone”.


If money is the root of all evil why do they ask for it in church?


Is Google a woman? Because it won’t let you finish your sentence without coming up with other suggestions.


She wanted a puppy. But I didn’t want a puppy. So we compromised and got a puppy.


What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.


Never break someone’s heart because they have only one inside… Break their bones because they have 206 of them.


Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.


Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it enough.


I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.


What’s the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
An ironing board’s legs are hard to open.


How do you embarrass an archeologist?
Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.


Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your mother.


Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.